Feliz Navidad

Feliz Navidad everyone!! Enjoy some Christmas photos of some of my many children....

Jose - the model

my favorite 4 year old

not lying - he is OBSESSED with my florida gator christmas lights

Oziel and David - right before a pre-nap meltdown. not sure who freaked out more this afternoon - me or them? I've decided that i should invest in a white noise sound machine for naps.

And my athletic brothers - Adrian and Fernando who LOVED seeing a video e-card of their faces on the photos of elves who danced. Who dey

Merry Christmas!!

Chores

If you do your chores, Caroline will give you a jawbreaker. Pretty much, this sums up how I deal with my older boys on Thursdays. They had a blast. And the floor got swept really fast.

Strength Will Rise...

I have to admit that I've been a bit "quiet" on my blog lately. I spent a great deal of yesterday trying to figure out why. This fall has been a season of thankfulness for me. I'm just thankful... for so many things. I'm thankful for what God has done in my life to bring me to a place where I literally live on the side of a mountain and I serve orphans. I am thankful for my health and for the health of my family. For those of you who have been praying for my mom and remember my christmas photo that I posted last year of her bald chemo head - she recently received clear scans showing no cancer cells in her body. I am thankful for all of you who constantly surround me with support, prayer, encouragement and donations for my boys. I am thankful for the incredible changes that have happened in the last calendar year at Douglas. I am thankful that I was forced to move into Douglas and take care of 14 boys full time. I am thankful that I can work for Douglas multiple days each week now and that God was clearly training me this summer to be able to give the workers a day off. I have so much to be thankful for.

Last year felt like a war most of the time.... a nonstop battle to bring some light to places of darkness. These days though.... things seem calm and rather quiet. I find it interesting how loud and insane the fight can feel like but then when you arrive to the other side and the battle seems like it's over.... how quietly we move on without really celebrating. I'm sure many of you are familiar with the Chris Tomlin song that says that "strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord." I feel like I'm just waiting. I am waiting for whatever God has next in store for me. If anyone has ever lived that could tell of how faithful God is, it's me. He comes through time and time again. He answers our prayers. He wins the battle. When God created me, he filled me with a lot of fight - just ask my family. You say, "no" and I say "watch me." So now I'm hoping and praying that strength will rise as I wait...

Brown Bear Brown Bear what do you see?

Few things this past Fall have surprised me more than my boys' new found love for reading. The other day, I went to Douglas to say hi to my boys because I had been gone for a week and I honestly just needed to kiss their sweet little faces. Oziel saw me and yelled, "CAROLINE!!!! You are going to take me home with you right?!" He was super excited to see me and automatically assumed I'd take him away from the orphanage. I told him no, not this time. So he immediately started jumping up and down with excitement and yelled, "Okay!!! You are going to read to me!!!!!!!!!!! Lots of books!!!!!" The 2nd best thing he can think of in his life - other than leaving the orphanage - is for me to read to him.... wow.
So of course we read about 20 books. They love Brown Bear Brown Bear what do you see? And The very hungry caterpillar and Dr. Seuss books.
At first, I only read to the boys when I was with them one on one. I was afraid the dorm full of hyperactive little boys would rip the pages out or color the pages. To my surprise, they respect the books and take turns sitting in my lap and turning the pages. They'd rather read books than watch my endless supply of movies.
My little man above can quote the entire book on command now. He says all the words right along with me as I read. It's nice though to know some "poetry" in spanish for when he's upset or wont go to sleep because it immediately calms him down and he laughs.

If you find some Veggie Tales books in spanish - the kids would love them. I only have one of those but it puts the Bible on a level they can understand. This week I will introduce Captain Underpants to the older boys thanks to my sweet friend who buys the boys books. Can't wait to see their reaction.

Mauricio and Lizy have a blog!!!!

Mauricio and Lizy in Cancun have a blog!!! And guess what.... you can click on the flag for England and it will translate their blog into english. Incredible. Check it out.

click here --->> http://mauylizy.blogspot.com/

When they grow up

The other day I was talking with an older teenage boy at Casa Hogar Douglas about what he wanted to be when he grew up. I said, "well one day you could go to high school and then on to college and study something. You could be part of the Hope Program and live at Back2Back. What would you like to be when you go up?" He said really honestly, "well you see it's hard. I'm the oldest of my siblings here. And I have this aunt." At this point, my heart sank and I knew what he was about to say. He was about to say that this distant family member who won't even visit him at the children's home, doesn't pick him up for holidays, or anything of that nature - is going to invite him to live with her as soon as he is old enough to work and help her out. That's exactly what he proceeded to describe. He is one of the few who never leaves the home, never has a visitor, and is a "double orphan" - as in both mom and dad are dead. He said that his aunt told him that as soon as he finished junior high school, he could live with her and work with her and help the family. He just kept saying, "it's hard Caroline." I've heard this before. And I said, "You know, you have options here. You are the one that is in control. The control is yours. I think you should talk to some of the boys that are already in our Hope Program and who are studying to get great jobs. A lot of them had the same hard decision to make when they were your age. Their aunt or uncle said that they could come live with them and work instead of go to college but they chose to go to college and now have way better jobs and now can help out their family financially so much more because they went to high school and college." It was as if he had never, ever thought of that option. Pray for him (name will be kept hidden for his privacy - these sweet children have little privacy - sorry) and for all the children we serve who are like him and have tough decisions to make that will forever affect their futures. Pray that seemingly selfish family members wouldn't try to take advantage of them in their desperation.

Answered Prayers at Douglas

I just wanted to encourage all of you who have been praying for Douglas and especially since we as a staff team started asking for prayer warriors to cover the home in prayer last February. There have been many, many changes at Casa Hogar Douglas in the last 10 months and I believe that it is in direct connection to your prayers and all of you who committed to pray and fast for Douglas last February. I spend almost every day of my time here in Monterrey at Douglas. Sometimes, it's too easy to get caught up in my daily responsibilities of child care to reflect adequately on all God has done to drastically change Douglas for the better. God has sent a ton of new staff families - another one moved in last week. God has moved workers around so that there are awesome people in direct child care. He's given us a ton of shelter sponsors. We've been able to move a lot of the kids to new schools. Some of the kids are attending a school for kids with special needs in the afternoons and evenings. Their food is a world better because of the Shelter Program funds. They have hot water for their showers now that it's freezing and it's winter becuase of Shelter Program funds. The kids run and yell and practically push me out of my table when I get out the Shetler letters because they are so excited that maybe they received a letter. The church at Douglas now has a tuesday night youth group for all older kids. The biological families of the kids (if they have them) are being asked to be more involved with their kids and are visiting more often, staying longer and some are even taking their kids home for the weekends now. The Mexican government is getting more involved with the home and helping to regulate forms and programs to help the kids. Not everything is perfect there but a ton of changing and it's obvious to see how God has been moving at Douglas in these past 10 months.

Thank you for praying - keep your prayers coming. Here are some ways you can be praying for Douglas:

- For renewed energy each day for the workers to love and serve the kids

- For biological relatives of the kids to be more involved in their kid's lives

- For Javier - the director - to be a good leader and vocal

- For Jim and Betty (with B2B) to have good communication with the workers of the home

- For appropriate use of all funds to serve the kids in the best way possible

- For dentists and doctors to volunteer their time and services to serve the kids medically

- For tutors to help bring kids up to grade level in reading and in math

- For all the new workers - katy and Nacho, Isabel and Adrian, Lorena and her husband and all their kids to feel welcomed, valued, appreciated. For their ability to pour God's love into the kids, to be different than the other workers, to fight for justice on behalf of the kids and to always stand up for what is right. For their marriages and their families.

Thanks!

Te Ayudo?

Today as I took care of 10 orphaned children from 6 am till bed time, I kept hearing things like, “I love you” and “te ayudo?” which means “can I help you?” and “don’t worry about mopping the dining hall Caroline – the older boys dorm wants to clean it for you because they love you.” That’s not super normal for me.

First of all, my boys yell, “I DON’T LOVE YOU!!!” a lot when they are angry about something. But only sometimes do they flip that around. Today I heard it more times in my direction than ever. Maybe me telling them so many times that I love them has started to sink in.

But it seriously just warms my heart when they say, “te ayudo Caroline?” They want to help me. It’s almost my 6 month anniversary from when I moved into Casa Hogar Douglas to start taking care of these very same boys. At first, I made it a point to do ALL the chores for the little boys (ages 2 to 6). I don’t believe that any child under 5 years old should sweep, mop, wash clothes, clean toilets, clean dining halls or anything of that nature. Thus, they haven’t done any kind of chores whatsoever in a while now- I don't even let them make their beds. But they see me putting their wet clothes on the line or taking it off and the folding it and putting it away and a few have decided that they want to help me. Whatever I’m doing, they want to do. They are so sweet about it too and so proud to say that they are helping Caroline. To say that I’m obsessed with them is an understatement.

I had to hold myself back from laughing today as a 4 year old ran up to me and yelled in his best angry voice, “that boy big stole my broom!! Get it back Caroline! I was sweeping.” One of the teenage boys has “relieved” the 4 year old from sweeping the dining hall and the 4 year old was mad about it.

Today, they behaved sooo well for me – unusually well. When I left, even the normally unaffectionate ones wanted to say bye to me and give me a hug and say good night. Hearing a room full of 3, 4, 5, and 6 year old orphan voices yell “bye caroline!! Good night Caroline!!” You are sleeping here right? Thank you!” is just about the sweetest thing on earth.

Food Day Costumes

No this is not a halloween post but they are all in costume... so it seemed appropriate today.

About 2 weeks ago, I went to an assembly at the pre-school that my Douglas kids attend. It was like international peace for countries day and Mexico's national day of food. Thus, the kids dressed up like different countries or food.

Angel as olive, Fatima as a strawberry, Lidia as an apple, Marta as a strawberry, Alex as Africa, Oziel is corn, David is france, Marcos is a carrot, Jared is Japan and Aldahir an egg

This was my invitation from the school as their "parent"

My little king of corn

they danced around and were presented by class

Alex was africa. this is how his worker painted his face. I was expecting something more like a tiger face or african face mask when i gave her the face paint the day before.... but this was better. We told Alex that if he would sing "waka waka eh eh this is africa" when they introduced his country that we'd buy him a bag of chips but he didnt come through.

In the middle is david as France, Alex as south africa i think? and Sophia as some other country.

It was fun to be their mom for the day at school and make them feel special and take pictures of them like the other parents were doing. Oh how I love them.

My Ninja Turtles

Growing up, I always loved the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I have all brothers and all boy cousins and I remember pretending to be ninjas and jumping off my brother's bunk bed. The movies were a bit scary for me- ask my mom... she had to once leave the movie theater early with me because the ending of the 2nd ninja turtles movie was too much for me at the age of 5. I remembered this when I was in the states this past August and buying every children's movie Walmart had for my boys and I bought a more kid friendly version of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. On the days that I take care of the medium aged dorm of boys at Casa Hogar Douglas, we often watch the ninja turtles movie. So last week, I told the boys how cool I was and that 2 years ago, I dressed up like a ninja turtle for a costume party and that the following week, I'd bring them photo proof.

Here is the photo of me and some other B2B staff at Halloween 2 years ago:

So.... I made masks for my Douglas boys too. Enjoy the photos. To my surprise, they were content to wear their new masks while watching the movie AGAIN and not ninja fight each other.

I sort of look like I'm in control here right? haha

Sign Me Up!!!

This past week, I've spent a lot of time at Casa Hogar Douglas sitting with kids one on one as they write letters to their Shelter Sponsors. A lot of the kids at this home have Shelter Sponsors but about 25 still do not have individual sponsors.

A child who is rather new to the home came over to me and started asking me questions about the program while I was translating some letters into English. He wanted to know why only some kids receive letters and why only some kids write letters. Other little boys joined in the conversation at this point and took over for me with the explanation of our Shelter Child Sponsorship Program. One child started explaining that Back2Back has an office in the United States and that in this office, they have a list of all the kids and their names and their photos. He said that from that list, people who want to be sponsors can pick a child. At this point, the new child says, "okay well what do I have to do to get myself onto that list!?!" He was really excited about the idea of receiving letters.

Several more boys came over and started talking about the program and one asked what we do with the money that the sponsors send. We talked about all the 3, 4 and 5 years olds that are in pre-school at their children's home and that because of the sponsors, they are able to attend this new school, pay the school fees, buy uniforms, and pay for gas to drive them to school everyday. We talked about how this is a much bigger pre-school and will better prepare all the kids for first grade. I told them that they have hot water for their showers a lot of the time because of these sponsors. Then I asked a few of the boys who have lived at Douglas for pretty much their entire lives to tell us all about what food they used to eat at Douglas a year ago and 2 or 3 years ago. They said things like, "yeah we used to just eat eggs and beans and tortillas and nothing else. We ate whatever food was donated." On this day, we had eaten breakfast, lunch and dinner like kings - no joke... for a children's home.... we were feasting. We ate chicken with cheese and broccoli and mashed potatoes and had sodas and tostadas. So we talked about how different the food is now and how it's possible for us to eat so good now at Douglas. The quality of food served now at Douglas is a world better than in years past and this difference is obvious to the kids. They eat better because of the sponsorship program.

For me, it was super fun to hear the boys relay back their understanding of Back2Back, our office in the states, and our Shelter Child Sponsorship Program. But it was beautiful to see light bulbs going off in their heads and in their hearts as they started to understand exactly what a difference these sponsors are making in their daily lives. For the past 2 years, I've spent a lot of time praying for Douglas and for change and justice for those children. I've clung to Psalm 27:13-14 which says, "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. (and at Douglas) Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." Today, thanks largely in part to this sponsorship program, I am literally seeing the goodness of the Lord at Douglas. I am seeing daily his provision for these children. Words don't do justice to how encouraged I am by this - they really don't. God is on the move at Douglas. For those of you who are Shelter Sponsors - THANK YOU. Thank you for the ways that you sacrifice to give to these children each month. You are making a difference.

Back2Back's Shelter Child Sponsorship Program began a little over a year ago. If you are interested in sponsoring a child at any of the children's homes we serve, please contact Claire Rogers at the Back2Back US office at claire@back2backministries.org or (513) 754 - 0300 ext 1704

their character is forever

Many major events have occurred since my last post....

1. a Hurricane rocked us again and left me stranded at Casa Hogar Douglas for a night where I slept in baby Alex's bed

2. my attempts to celebrate my own birthday with the Douglas kids

3. I was hospitalized over night for a stomach bug, high fever and dehydration

If you'd like to read about part 1 (of 3) of my birthday celebration with the Douglas kiddies and the hurricane please visit Jessica's blog - she was there with me. She did a great job explaining what happened on the night the hurricane hit. It's worth reading.

I don't like celebrating my own birthdays - I don't usually make a big deal out of it other than making sure to watch the Gators beat Tennessee. This year though, I decided to make a big deal out of it - by lavishing the 67 kids who live at Casa Hogar Douglas with a steak taco dinner followed by some ice cream cones. They were pumped. But if you read Jessica's blog - you know what happened. My party fizzled. Hurricane hit. My steak didn't arrive. I was bummed but amazed at the same time at the outcome.

The Prep team for attempt #1 to eat my birthday dinner that failed. But good effort. The woman on the right - is related to the director - Javier and she cooked ALL day to make me 4 amazing chocolate cakes to share with the kids. I was incredibly honored.

Well next day rolls around - I'm scheduled to take care of the youngest boys dorm from 6 am to 8 pm. The wake up part was easy - I was in their room at 6 am when the alarm on my phone went off. I sent them all off to school no problems.

Lunch comes around - we are finally going to eat the billions of kilos of steak that I bought for the kids (part 2 of my bday celebration with the kids). I'm excited. The kids are rather excited. The bell rings for lunch and my boys decide it's time for throwing crying fits and to start fighting with each other. Marcos is literally screaming at me because I told him that he couldn't go to the dining hall if he refused to put his shoes and socks on (is that too much to ask?). Oziel leans in on Alex for the 2nd time that day to hit him and then bite him right in front of me. I had already talked very sternly to Oziel about this earlier. Few things at this point phase me with these boys but when they start biting each other and trying to slam skulls around - I get very very mad. They know when Caroline is around - absolutely NO biting. So obviously, Oziel was put in time out for 4 minutes. He immediately starts crying. He's tired. He's behaving HORRIBLY - much worse than probably I've ever seen. My group of 10 boys that day barely all made it into the dining hall. Remember - we are finally sitting down to my billions of dollars worth of steak. Yet, I am not happy. David starts throwing tortillas. Fernando insists on getting in my face so I can't eat my own food because then the attention isn't on him. I finally get everyone to calm down and sit down and eat their plates. Apparently, Alexis (age 6) looked at Oziel's (age 4) plate of tacos wrong and Oziel lost it. His anger fumed and he stood up in his chair and kicked Alexis in the face with his shoe on. So I picked Oziel up, took his plate and went straight outside with him. The rest of the dining hall of course is COMPLETELY CALM except for my sweet angels of the Lord. Oziel is screaming, "NOOOO CAROLINE!!! NOOOO!" He's crying. I'm not going to yell at him, I'm not going to scold him and give him a talking to in front of 67 other crazy kids. Yet he sure didn't want to eat his lunch outside on the picnic table alone. I told him he was not allowed back inside the dining hall because kicking people in the face inside the dining hall is absolutely not allowed. I leave him. He proceeds to scream and cry, "No Caroline! No Caroline! Outside No!"

I love Oziel as if he was my own child. I was disappointed. He and I get along beautifully. But he's not allowed to bite people. Or kick them in the face. I've been talking to the boys a lot these past few weeks about what it means to be "macho" or "manly." Being "macho" means that if someone hits you or says something mean to you, you have control. You don't hit them back. You tell them not to do that or say that. We say that it's "girly" to hit people because it shows that you have no control.

After everyone else finished lunch, I went outside for Oziel and brought him back inside with his plate so he could sit on my lap and talk about what happened while he finished his tacos. I proceeded to tell him that (part 3 of my bday celebration) after dinner that night we were going to eat ice cream cones because I wanted to share with everyone for my birthday. He is more than thrilled. They never and I mean NEVER get ice cream. But I told him that if he hit or bit one more - ONE more- person that day, he wasnt going to get an ice cream cone. He immediately burst out crying saying, "why caroline did you say I can't have ice cream?!!?" So we talked about it for a good 20 minutes - around and around the thought processes until he could grasp all of it.

He took a good hour and half nap after that - he naps like once a month. Go figure.

The bell for dinner rings. We are all lined up in front of the dining hall waiting for the prayer so we can go inside to eat. My boys know that if they finish their dinner plate, they'll get an ice cream cone. We'd talked about it all day. So naturally, my 10 boys were doing the ants in their pants dance and couldn't stand still to save their lives. Fernando (age 7) walks over to Oziel and slaps him playfully in the face with excitement about ice cream a good 6 times. Oziel starts fuming and huffing and puffing. I was holding his 3 year old younger brother at the time but yelled at him from 15 feet away, "OZIEL DON'T HIT HIM!!!!!! YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU HIT HIM!!!!" and he stopped to look at me for a second or two and didn't hit Fernando. I ran over and celebrated that like the gators just won ANOTHER national championship. That's why I spend endless hours with these boys. Oziel's character, what kind of a man he will be when he grows up is a massive concern of mine. I want them to know right from wrong. I want them to have self control. I want them to feel secure. These boys struggle with everything - especially beating up on one another - they take their frustrations out on whoever is closest. It's brutal. But it doesnt have to be like that.

We ate dinner. It was AWESOME (part 3 of my bday celebration). They mixed the left over steak with potatoes and it was amazingly tasty. The ice cream cones were a hit. Everyone loved it. And I was thrilled. I finally had something HUGE to celebrate. I even got seconds on the ice cream. Oziel didn't hit Fernando - Praise the Lord.

Isai and Jose - loving it

My little grandpa man - David - the baby model

Oziel EARNED that ice cream

Discussions about the Lord

Lately, I've found myself having TONS of spiritual conversations with my kids.

They ask me things like:

"God has boyfriends right?"

"God is in heaven and he can't come down here."

"God loves everyone right?"

"Is Jesus still alive? Or did he actually die?"

"Is God a boy or a girl?"

"What does God say?"

We've recently had many conversations about how God is all powerful and can do anything He wants. God is omnipresent and can be in a million places at once. We've talked over and over again about the trinity - God is three persons and that is confusing. But God is the Father, Jesus is the son, and the Holy Spirit lives inside the hearts of all those who have Jesus as their Lord and Savior. We've talked about how God loves each and every one of them so so much and that they are God's most favorite child. God loves everyone but especially them. No matter how many times I say it, they still want to say that since God is loving, that means He has boyfriends. The idea that God can be in heaven and on Earth at the same time is throwing a few of them for a loop but we've talked a lot lately about how we can talk to God through prayer. We talk about how God is in control when they are scared in the middle of the night in a dark orphanage dorm and that He is with them.

I've never been a mom before but I'm quickly learning that life is a Sunday school room of sorts. Every moment is an opportunity to point to the Lord. Lately, He's given me a ton.

Growing Weary

This past week, I've been struggling to not grow weary in doing good. When it is a worker's day off at Casa Hogar Douglas, I'm there to cover for them and take care of the kids. I agreed to do this 3 days per week and cover 3 different dorms. I know how exhausting it can be to care for these sometimes very difficult children all week. I learned first hand how important a day off is if one is to appropriately have the patience to love these children 24 hours a day when I lived at Douglas this summer. The desire of my heart is to see these kids receiving loving care everyday. It's critical that workers have a day off and time away from the kids to recharge. So this year, I've made that my mission. Last week, somehow that turned into me covering for 4 different dorms. To the kids, I'm sort of like the fun grandma who comes when mom leaves and brings fun movies. They taunt kids from the other dorms and brag that I'm watching them that day and not the other. Guess that makes me feel loved? These kids need some attention.

I have to admit, I'm exhausted. I show up at the children's home at around 5:45 am to get the kids ready for breakfast and school and I come home to my apartment between 8 and 10:30 pm. I've found myself complaining in my head about how I'm tired and should be sorting donations or responding to my emails or actually eating or resting because I've been sick for a few days or that maybe I dont actually like all these kids so I shouldnt be there. It's all lies. 100% lies from the enemy. When I had to go to the states for 2 weeks to raise support for this upcoming year, I cried almost everyday because I missed my kids so much. I still get upset when I have to leave the kids at the children's home and drive away for the night. Yet at times, I find myself growing weary.

Weary is often how these full time children's home workers feel. Most are single moms who ended up at the children's home after unfortunate life events, not by choice. Pretty sure that wherever you are today, there is a single mom near you who could really use a pick me up and some help. Maybe you could offer to watch her kids for the afternoon so she could nap or run errands.

"We must not grow weary in doing good for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." - Galatians 6:9

Please say a prayer tonight for the workers at these homes - for their energy, patience, ability to rest and pour into these children. They are my heroes.

David and Oziel's Birthdays

My sweet orphan boys don't all know how old they are. They don't know when their birthdays are or if it is their birthday, they don't know "how many" they are going to have on their next birthday. They don't know because they don't have a mommy or a daddy who is going to remind them and celebrate them. But my boys know or will learn this year because I am making a huge deal of their birthdays after I saw firsthand how difficult a birthday week can be for an orphan this past summer while living at Casa Hogar Douglas.

In the past 10 days, I've celebrated 7 birthdays at Douglas - some celebrations were bigger than others. Below are photos from 2....

David turned 3, is now potty trained (or really close) and started pre-school last week. He can say in spanish, "one, five, THREE!!!" before he jumps on something or wants to have a countdown. His pre-school teacher obviously has some work to do but I'm thrilled that he has started big kid school. He's starting to be a bit more vocal and says things like, "a que NOOO!!" when he doesn't want to do something.

For his birthday, I brought him some happy meal toys, 2 balloons which he immediately filled with water and threw with joy, and some play doh.

David was the lucky recipient of my cousins' old truck. He puts the shapes in and out of the truck bed.

Oziel turned 4 on thursday. I was working on his actual birthday and taking care of the boys dorm at douglas for boys ages 8 - 11 and I could not adequately spend time with him on his real birthday. Oziel has a Shelter Program sponsor family and they sent some money down to buy him a birthday present which I gave him on his actual birthday. But for you blog readers and for those of you have been here to Monterrey, you know by now that Oziel owns my entire heart. Spending one hour with him on his birthday playing with his new toys was just not enough for me. So I asked for permission to spend all day Friday with him. We had a fiesta day and did whatever my little man wanted to do.

First, we swam in the pool and shot squirt guns.

Oziel got his happy meal toys present from me - complete with all his favorites: marbles, stickers, 4 balloons, hotwheels and his current favorite thing on the planet- a Hulk action figure

Balloons complete his life

We watched movies in 3D

Oziel won on the monster trucks game on N64

He wanted ice cream so we went to McDonalds for happy meals and ice cream. As we walked out of McDonalds he proudly declared that he was going to spend the rest of his life at my house. This is a sensitive subject for him and honestly for me too. I love him so much and I hate that he lives in a group setting with group bath time and group meals and group everything. I explained that he was just playing at my house for his birthday and that we didn't have permission right now for him to live there forever. But as we got in the car, I told him my idea - we'd ask permission for him to spend the night. If they said no... he'd have to go back to his dorm and his brothers. Well they said, "YES!" He was soooo excited. He asked if he could sleep on my "gator couch." He loves gators. Obviously God picked out this child just for ME. I found him some PJ's while he found some more frogs and proudly showed them off to some of the other B2B staff. He literally jumped around with glee as I made up his bed for him.

This little 4 year old puts himself to sleep. When he is tired, he asks for a bed and just goes to sleep. After some Scooby Doo and after we read "Hands are Not for Hitting" (he struggles to be nice sometimes- I don't blame him), he put himself to sleep. He let me sleep till 7:45 am till he screamed, "CAROLIIIIINE!"

We watched more Scooby Doo at his request, played with his new toys and I started cooking breakfast to which he said, "what are you doing?" I said, "I'm cooking breakfast for you. I'm going to make chocolate chip pancakes. Would you like that?" He gets excited about a lot of things but I think the thought that I was personally cooking for him was obviously more exciting than any toy I've ever given him - this still shocks me. He kept saying, "you are cooking for ME?!!?!?!? Oh yes Caroline!!! Yes Caroline!" Then when we finally sat down to eat, he started by eating all the chocolate chips off the top. Then he realized that there were more choc chips inside the pancakes to which he asked before each one, "is this a bug or chocolate?" Only a child who has lived in an orphanage or on the street would ask that question.

Fernando turns 7 this Sunday. Happy Birthday!

My Frog Princes

It's the rainy season now here in Monterrey and all this rain is producing a ton of frogs for my sweet boys to seek out, find, trap, hold, throw, and put in their pockets. At 6 am the other day, I was getting 10 of the boys ready for breakfast and school. One of the boys had gone to his drawer and pulled out 3 dead frogs and placed them strategically in a row in the changing room on the counter so I'd find them and freak out. It worked.

Gustavo with a mom and a baby frog

Jose and Luis ran around all afternoon with these 2 frogs to give everyone "besitos" or kisses from the frog prince. I came around a corner holding a 3 year old and they caught me off guard and frogs smacked me straight in the lips. There was no avoiding my "prince"

at Alondra's XV reception - the boys refused to stay out of the rain and join the fiesta. Instead, they chose to hunt for frogs in the rain with their juice cups. I thought this was hilarious and took pictures instead of telling them to get out of the rain.

Isai with 2 babies

I can't seem to avoid the frogs. The boys always have one or two in their pockets, dead or alive. Yesterday, I was rocking a 3 year old to sleep so he'd take his afternoon nap. I knew he was finally asleep when I heard the frog he was holding fall to the ground. Good lord.

That Kind of Legacy

"I want to leave a legacy

How will they remember me?

Did I choose to love?

Did I point to you enough

To make a mark on things

I want to leave an offering

A child of mercy and grace

Who blessed Your name unapologetically

And leave that kind of legacy" -- lyrics from "Legacy" by Nichole Nordeman

I heard this song yesterday on one of the only english radio stations I can pick up in my car around the B2B property - God planned this one just for our staff I think - it's a Christian radio station from McAllen, Texas. I was returning back to Casa Hogar Douglas to be ready for when my boys came home from school. Yesterday was my day this week to fill in for the full time workers so they could have a day off.

I was struck by the line, "did I point to you enough." My motives for why I serve these kids can be mixed sometimes. Sometimes, probably more often than not, I spend hours with them simply because of the way I feel when I'm near them. They make my heart melt. I love hearing them say my name, their hugs, the way they try to sit really close to me on the couch, how they laugh when I scrub the bottoms of their feet. Sure that probably sounds like an acceptable reason to love on orphan children... but why am I here? I was reminded of how important it is that I point to the Lord when I'm with my boys. How often do I point to God when they ask me questions or when they are crying about something or when they want to know why there are new workers or when they can't sleep or when I tell them for the 100th time that day I just love them to pieces?

A few days ago I started reading a book that I picked up at the Summit of the Orphan called "Castaway Kid." It's written by a guy who was orphaned at age 3 in an American orphanage in the 1950's. The book is his life story, what he was feeling, the lies of abandonment that he struggled with throughout his whole childhood. The details that he could remember from his 3rd and 4th years of life are haunting to me. Half of my boys are that age. They are going to remember a TON from this time in their lives. I have the opportunity to point to the Lord in ways that they will remember forever.

During lunch yesterday, I was by myself with my 10 boys, sweating horribly from the heat with a 2 year old on my lap who was about to pass out. It took a lot of patience for me to just take a deep breath as Fernando got into a fist fight with Luis over crackers and Jose Daniel sat underneath the table and threw stuff at everyone with Oziel screaming and Alex calling everyone else bad names. Loving them with patience is a battle most of the day if I'm honest. At lunch, did I point to the Lord in a way that will make a mark on their lives?

When Fernando tells me he loves me and calls me mommy do I take that opportunity to tell him about how much God loves him?

Other lyrics in this song talk about blessing God. I spent a long time yesterday trying to figure out what in the world it would look like to "bless the Lord." How does one bless the God who created us, mountains, beaches, the sky, heaven... who gives us breath and life .... who has placed me in a position to snuggle with 3 year old orphans for hours on end whenever I want???? Seems pretty ridiculous to me to try and bless God. He blesses us.

We always have opportunities to point to the Creator, our sustainer, our provider - God. I want to point to him ENOUGH.... how much is that?

The Best kind of Bath Time

Casa Hogar Douglas has found itself without water for the past 2 days. This happens time to time due to power outages or if something big and expensive breaks. Regardless of the cause behind the lack of water, the effects are often stinky in the little boys dorm. So yesterday I offered to bathe whoever they wanted over at the Back2Back property. Of course, they gave me without question the 4 youngest boys who did not need to spend the afternoon doing homework.

These boys need a bath everyday... without question - EVERY day. They literally had dirt all over their sweet little faces. Marcos hit Oziel in the car on the way over and Oziel was very angry. The 4 minute drive from Douglas to the B2B property always feels like an eternity with the little ones in the back - who are SUPER excited, didn't have a nap, and dirty.

my sweet dirt covered Oziel

David (above) knowing exactly where he's going - the B2B pool

DONATION NEEDS: if you live in the Cincinnati area OR are coming down for a trip with B2B anytime this year - we really really need little BOYS swim suits - sizes 2T, 3T, 4T and 5T. It's the end of summer - maybe they are on clearance at Target or walmart or your own kids are out growing them? These children's home kids also think that the sun-guard swim shirts are about the coolest thing on the planet. (we really do NOT need girls suits- we have millions of those for some reason. we have NO boys suits). If you have some and want more specifics in how to get them here - leave me a comment or email me at ceburns@ufl.edu -- GRACIAS